


Regret

by Iriswrites



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV), TMI - Fandom, cassandra clare - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Malec, Post-Episode: s01e12 Malec, alec lightwood - Freeform, hurt!Alec, magnus bane - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 12:52:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6470647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iriswrites/pseuds/Iriswrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You don't regret it, do you?"</p>
<p>Those worlds flew out of his mouth and he realized, too late, the mistake he had done. The excitement and the hope that kiss had given Magnus were probably the cause of the foolish question he had just made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regret

**Author's Note:**

> Following the events of 1x12 and the sneak peek released of 1x13.

**\- "You don't regret it, do you?"**  
Those worlds flew out of his mouth and he realized, too late, the mistake he had done. The excitement and the hope that kiss had given Magnus were probably the cause of the foolish question he had just made. No, he wasn't going to get his hopes up too soon, not this time. The kiss was just the way Alec had chosen to come out to his parents. Yes, the boldness of the act did surprise him, it wasn't like him to stand up for himself like that, not in front of his parents and certainly not in front of the clave.

_What do you have to lose?_

Those words spoken only hours earlier still hurt, like a wound that never properly healed. Alexander didn't know. How could he have? Magnus had everything to lose, his heart in the first place. 

And now he had this boy in front of him, fragile, broken but certainly not weak. This boy who had already broken his heart and almost made him give up on him. This tall boy who walked as if he were less than anyone else around him, as he didn't deserve happiness just like his brothers and sister. This shadowhunter that he was almost certain would break his heart over and over again. And still Magnus would give him a chance because, as Catarina once said, there was a sweet heart under all that glitter.

\- "Everything happened so fast I- I haven't had time to think"

And the pain hit, as he had expected, like an arrow you know will hit the target. His eyes wandered on the floor for a second, seemingly examining the tiles. 

\- "I just wanna make sure Lydia is ok. I owe her so much."  
\- "We owe her. What she did was nothing short of heroic."  
And it was true. They both owed a lot to the girl that gave Alec a chance at happiness, and Magnus a chance to love again.

Alec looked down mimicking the movement Magnus had made seconds ago, examining the floor. And the warlock couldn't bare that look of utter sadness and confusion on the young shadowhunter. So he did what he was best at doing, he made Alexander smile.

\- "Hey, maybe we could slow things down. Why don't we start with that date you owe me?"  
\- "Yeah, let's do that."

And Magnus walked out of the Institute, the only thing keeping him from falling, that date.

 

His phone rang scaring the cat away from the sofa and causing a loud disapproving 'meow' to escape his mouth before running away directed God knows where.  
Magnus picked up the phone surprised to see the name 'Alec' on the bright screen.  
\- "Alexander, hi."  
But, to Magnus' surprise, it wasn't Alec's voice on the other side of the line.  
\- "Magnus, it's Isabelle. Something happened we need you at the institute immediately."  
Her voice was slightly trembling, her usual confidence gone replaced by what seemed to be fear. Before Isabelle even said it Magnus knew.  
\- "It's Alec."

Magnus was there immediately without even bothering to check what he was wearing. He didn't care, Alec was hurt and that was all that mattered. The door to the infirmary was open and everyone was there. It was Izzy that greeted him, her cheeks wet and her walk unsteady like she could fall at any given moment. Jace was at his parabatai side, whispering words under his breath and drawing an iratze on his arm.  
Magnus walked fast reaching the bed as Izzy tried to tell him what exactly had happened.  
\- "A group of demons appeared from nowhere. Alec tried t-to take down one by himself and things went sideways."  
She was stuttering, something that was more of her brother than her confident self.  
Magnus finally reached the bed and saw him.  
Alec was covered in sweat and blood. His eyes were shut close, his body trembling as if he was cold. If only it were that easy.  
\- "How long has he been like this?"  
Jace looked up surprised to see Magnus on the other side of the bed, he probably hadn't even seen him enter. Jace was about to answer when a cold, bitter voice he recognized all to well interrupted him.  
\- "What is that warlock doing here?"  
Isabelle, that could barely stand without trembling, hissed at her mother in response.  
\- "I asked him to come. And Magnus," - she said turning around to look him in the face  
\- "He's been like this since we returned, half an hour ago." 

 

Maryse stepped in front of her daughter and looked at Magnus with a stare that could have made even the Angel run away scared.  
\- "That is none of your business, now get away from my son!"  
Isabelle looked guilty, like it was her fault Alec was in that bed, like she was responsible for what her mother said. Magnus on the other was stunned, anger boiled inside of him and a few blue sparks escaped his hand.  
He had remained silent when she had accused Alec of being selfish.  
He had remained silent when she had spat downworder like a curse world. But this was enough. He took Alexander's hand and held it in his own briefly, as if telling him he was there and he wasn't going anywhere. The High Warlock of Brooklyn then got up from his chair and walked towards Maryse Lightwood. Every word he said reechoing in the large room.  
\- "Are you so stubborn and narrow minded that you would rather let your son _die_ instead of letting me save him?"  
Maryse seemed to have an answer but Magnus wasn't going to let her say other poisonous words, not that he would care but if Alec was listening...  
He shushed her with a fast movement of his hand.  
\- "Now let me do my job and save _your son's life._ Get her to leave."  
He said the last four words to no one in particular turning around to face the reason he was there. Alexander. 

His face was as pale as the sheets, his messy black hair drenched in sweat and blood, a contrast against the bright white pillow. The warlock's hand hovered over his chest, blue sparks slowly healing the wounds.  
Jace was holding his parabatai's hand tightly and with no intention of letting go, his gaze fixed on their interwined hands, a tired look on his face and the weight of what happened on his shoulders. Magnus wondered what had actually happened that the two Shadowhunters weren't telling him.

All of a sudden Alec's lips were tainted with a deep red color. Panic surged into Magnus. It wasn't working. Alec started choking, spitting up blood with his eyes still shut and his pale skin becoming even paler.  
\- "What's happening? Magnus why isn't this working?"  
Izzy looked as panicked as Magnus felt, tears stinging in her big eyes as she looked at him. But Magnus did not know what was happening and he couldn't reassure her with kind words when he needed reassurance himself.  
Concentrate. You can save him, you've done it countless times before.  
The room was collapsing on him. Isabelle's and Jace's worried looks were seraph blades searing through him, burning. And it was all too much. Alexander's life, sweet stuttering Alexander, was in his hands. He just couldn't bare it anymore.  
\- "Get out!"  
He didn't mean to shout but he did. Jace protested but Isabelle touched his arm and looked him in the eye and almost whispering she said: ' I trust him ' .  
And he was alone.

Magnus finally managed to really look at him. The coughing had stopped, courtesy of a last iratze Jace had drawn. But their power, even if drawn by his parabatai, wasn't enough to heal him properly. His skin was pale and scarlet scars covered his torso elegantly like the Greek marble sculptures Magnus had always admired.  
The warlock gently cupped his face giving him back some of his natural skin tone, his hand hovered there barely even touching him, as if scared that his touch would break him completely. Then he returned to attend the wounds on his chest, blue magic slowly repairing the damage. And Magnus' thoughts wandered as he relived every moment he had with Alexander.  
The night he had spent with him just talking and making him laugh just too see that much too rare smile on the boy's lips.  
The day Alec had told him he was getting married and how Magnus, his heart shattering at every word the Shadowhunter said, had walked away with a much too simple 'goodbye'.  
The time Alec had walked into his apartment asking for help to save Isabelle from a trial that would have meant the end of her life. He remembered the bitterness in his voice when he had asked him to give his most valued possession: his bow and arrow. But Alexander had accepted because that's who he is, a boy that loves so much and thinks he doesn't deserve to be loved as well. Family was everything to him and, even if Magnus couldn't say he really understood, he respected and honored such a virtue.  
The kiss. Oh, magic was nothing compared to that kiss. He remembered the surprise as Alec grabbed him from his jacket and kissed him desperately like he was drowning and Magnus was the oxygen he needed.

But dizziness broke him out of his daze. His magic was weak and he would soon have to stop.

_Someday someone will come along who tear down those walls you built around your heart and when that love comes back to you, you must do everything in your power to fight for it._

Ragnor's words reechoed in his mind. And Ragnor, as much as he hated to admit it, was always right. So he was gonna fight until there wasn't anything else to do.  
He stopped to concentrate again at the task at hand. That was a mistake.

The wound on his chest started to bleed again and his eyes moved under his pale eyelids as if trying to escape something in his mind. Magnus was on his feet wildly searching for mundane things such as bandages to temporarily stop the bleeding, at least until he regained enough energy to continue. As he cleaned the wound with a wet towel he heard a slight whimper. Alec was starting to regain consciousness and that wasn't the right time. He would have just suffered more. Magnus was at his side, eyebrows furrowed in concern, he took the shadowhunter's hand in his own and with the free one he continued the healing. Was this gonna exhauste him? Yes. But he didn't care, Alexander was in pain. 

Minutes later Alec slowly opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was Magnus at his side intent on healing the wound that was probably the reason he was in the infirmary.  
He was careful not to move his left hand which was intervined with the warlock's. He liked the sensation of Magnus's small delicate hand in his large rough one. Alec would have stayed like this for hours just watching the warlock work, noticing the small details. Like how his left brow was arched higher than his right one when he was concentrated on something and how his posture was always elegant even when tired. But the spell was broken when Magnus noticed Alec was awake. He removed his hand immediately, wrongly thinking it was an unwanted gesture. But Alec didn't want him to leave. He stopped him from talking just in time, finally ready to tell him the truth.

\- "I don't."  
There was a pause. Magnus looked at him unable to understand.  
\- "Regret it...I don't."  
He wondered how Magnus could always find the right words to say but he never could. Then Magnus smiled and Alec couldn't help grinning because he had done that. He, Alec, had made Magnus smile like he had never seen him before, and it was such a beautiful sight he didn't want him to stop.  
His eyelids suddenly felt heavy and he saw Magnus touch his hand gently inducing him to sleep. The last thing he heard was his voice.  
\- "Remember you still owe me a date."  
And they both fell asleep, Magnus too exhausted to move with his head on Alexander's bed, both never letting go of each other.


End file.
